Yesterday was quite the day. It started with a telemarketer calling the house at 7am only to hang up as I drug myself out of bed and tried to run to the phone in time, stubbed my toe and stepped in a puddle of doggy water and spit from our 3 year labrador, Dakota (who drinks with his nose).  I immediately made a decision, a conscious decision, to not curse the guy or gal that thought it would be a good idea to try to sell me something that early in the morning.  I have to admit, due to the fact that my daughter, Faith, age 8, was now on Thanksgiving break which meant it would have been an actual day of sleeping in for the first time in a while, I felt annoyed that my first chance at being able to sleep an actual 8 hours uninterrupted was absolutely interrupted.  I caught myself as I began to feel my body tense a bit.  I took a deep breath and actually said outloud, “Not today, today is going to be a good day!”

And so, for the most part it was.  I made some phone calls, scheduled some appointments, and against my better judgement, decided to go grocery shopping.  My goal was to go in the morning but it seemed the harder I tried, the more things kept happening to keep me right where I was.  At home, taking care of this and that, making last minute arrangements for Thanksgiving Dinner, checking the grocery list not once, but twice.  Making sure the laundry was being laundered…

Before I knew it, it was almost time for dinner and I had nothing to fix.  I gently shoved my daughter into the car, asking her to put on her boots instead of her flip flops as the weather was getting cooler and it was raining outside.  She wanted to argue, but I insisted.   We were both just getting over a nasty flu bug and I didn’t want to repeat that.  Why is it that children always want to wear their summer clothes in winter and their winter clothes in summer? 

As I drove up to the market I found a parking spot pretty easily. I always ask my guides for a little extra help when I go shopping.  Ever since my back  started reaking havic with me, I haven’t had the easiest time when it comes to walking great distances so I’ve made a habit  of asking them, my wonderful guides,  for “parking help” whenever I go somewhere.  I usually end up with a parking spot right up front, and without much effort and this time was no different.  I thanked my guides and Faith and I began our weekly grocery hunt.  

I would assume that because of the Thanksgiving holiday the store was brimming with customers, all of  whom seemed to be scurrying around like mice pushing shopping carts.  It made me giggle as I watched a few women racing to see which out of the three could get their grocery cart into the cashier isle first.  I was expecting the “big crash” sound but it never happened.  All though I did over hear one of the ladies curse a few words under her breath.  Lets not forget the poor guy who is standing in line with a bottle of deoderant and a loaf of bread who is stuck behind the lady with the cart filled to the top and is trying to reign in her three boys who are having way to much fun blowing up the “last minute” shelfs before the checkout, the youngest is grabbing lighters, the baby is grabbing the magazines and throwing some on the floor and is drooling on the other two, and the oldest who isn’t paying attention because the new lego’s box he’s buying with his own allowance is the only thing on his mind.

Don’t you just love how the holidays really brings out the goodness in folks? YIKES!

As I made it through about three isles, I got a funny feeling in my stomach and remembered I lent my ATM card to my son so that he could get gas the day before, and if I was guessing correctly - he had forgotten to give it back.  So now what? Do I go home? Should I call him? Should I park the half-filled cart in the corner? I grabbed my cell phone and dialed, after three failed  attempts of trying to call I decided to text him and sure enough I got a reply.  I still don’t know what that’s all about, they have a cell phone which they don’t use as a phone, but they do use it as texting device? Isn’t that what a computer is for?

Any way, I texted him back and told him I would call him, which I did and to his dismay he agreed to drive to the market to give me back my ATM card. He didn’t really complain, but I could hear the “ugh” in his voice, besides I thought this was only fair since he borrowed my card, my money and he forgot to give it back to me.  About fifteen minutes later, there he was, my wonderful handsome son.  Hard to believe he’ll be 18 in a week, an adult….WOW!

He darted out of the store so fast that as I turned around to wave goodbye  he was nowhere to be seen.  They are quick when they want to be!  Unlike when you ask them to clean their room or do the dishes… I laughed and Faith and I were back on track, grabbing items off the shelf, crossing them off of the grocery list, my organized list that I had so carefully rewrote for fifteen minutes because I asked my children to make the list today to help out, unfortunately, 90 percent of the items on the list ended in “chips” or “soda” and sometimes “chocolate”.  I didn’t really have a problem with the chocolate, but I did have to add the staples like milk, eggs, bread and of course ketchup (organic of course!)  

Before I knew it, the last item was in the cart, double-fudge brownie chocolate ice-cream to be exact!  It’s always last on the list only because I don’t want it to melt into milk foam by the time we get home!  We finished our shopping, paid for our stuff, and off to the car we went.

It was really cold out, unusual for our beautiful Northern California weather.  It had just rained, I could see that the water was still dripping and running off of the car, there were puddles surrounding the car.  I told Faith to get into the car to get warm as I put the bags into the car.  She asked if she could put the keys in the ignition and turn on the car so she could listen to the radio and turn on the heater while she waited.  I didn’t hesitate, I turned the key, but this time I did something I don’t normally do. I turned the key just far enough to turn on the “battery”, the radio turned on, she hit the lights and turned them on above her head so she could see to open her “I was a good girl while my mom shopped” treat.   I saw that the GPS also turned on and the inside of the car was now lit up quite nicely.  I didn’t think twice about all of the gadgets that were now turned on.  It was taking me a bit longer to load the bags into the car, because unfortunately the nice lady who was bagging the items was only putting 2 or 3 items in a bag, I  remember thinking I really needed to remember to bring my canvas bags next time, what a waste of plastic.  There must have been at least two dozen bags.  As I was loading the car, I was being a good girl, because of my back pain I was following my “doctors orders” and only carrying a couple bags at a time as to not lift more than I should and mess my back up again.  So far so good.

After about the fifteenth bag I realized that a few of my “squishy” bags, the bag with the bread, the bag with the eggs, and the bag with the fruit were bagged with the giant orange juice containers and cans and were being smushed into thin air.  So I ended up switching up a few things in the bags, “re-bagging”  probably took me another ten minutes or so. 

I finally finished and got into the car.   I looked across the parking lot I realized that there was someone I had recognized, I waited a few minutes to see if they would come any closer to my car so that I could say hi, but it never happened, o’well. 

As I turned the key to start the engine I heard this grinding noise, the kind of grinding noise you hear when you try to start the car after you have all ready started the car, and everyone in the parking lot turns to look at you like your a goofball and then they turn away like they’ve never done the same thing.  HAH I say!  I turn the key back, I listen, but soon realize the car is not running, why did it make that noise? I’m not sure, I just new the car wasn’t starting like it normally does.

I turned the key again, this time there was only a fast ticking noise, “tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic, tic”  then silence, nothing…….again I turned the key, again the ticking noise, “tic, tic, tic, tic.”  This time there weren’t as many tics.  I must have tried starting the car like that over a dozen times.  The more I tried the less tic noises I heard.  Soon there was only one ”tic”.   I couldn’t believe that we sat there with the battery running out for as long as we did, but I had done just that!  Faith started to get scared and panicky asking, “What are we gonna do Mommy? Are we going to be ok?” 

“Absolutely we will be ok sweetie!” I said.  I knew in my heart that ultimately we would be ok, but what a hassle I thought to myself.  My battery to my car was dead.  Unlike spirit that once they’ve passed over they seem to enjoy talking with me, but not the battery, not even a peep!

“Do I call my husband?” I thought first.  No, when I left the house he was all ready grumpy because dinner wasn’t even close to being ready and I hadn’t even gone shopping for it yet.  He would probably be annoyed I thought, I didn’t want to annoy him, he’s been working so hard lately and putting up with so much all ready.  Getting up in the morning before 5am, working ten hour days, the least I could do was have dinner ready for him when he got home right? Wrong, thank goodness he loves me for me, I’ve never been the type to be that organized, pick up the kids, do homework after school with them, cook them a healthy snack, do all the laundry while fixing dinner, baking homemade pies for desert….I maybe crafty but Martha Stewart I”M NOT!!!!  I get it all done, just not necessarily in that order.  Faith was getting worried.  Ever since she and I were in a car accident about a year ago, if ever there’s something going on with the car or us in the car, or even if I have to stop the car quickly, she gets nervous.  “We’ll make it home, right Mom?” she asked.  “Yes sweetie, don’t worry, we’re gonna be just fine, I promise!” I reassured her.

I decided to call my son again, even though I knew he’d be really irritated that he had to drive to the market twice in one hour, once to give me the ATM card, the other to help me start my car, not to mention he’d have to search the garage at home for the jumper cables.  No answer, his phone went straight to voicemail, a sure sign that he wasn’t ever going to answer the phone again, well atleast tonight anyway. He had no plans of going any where else tonight!  I called my husbands cell phone, who was only two rooms away from my son, no answer.  Now I  meant business, I called the home phone, thinking that would get their attention! We have caller ID and when someone calls, if you’re watching TV, the caller ID shows up on the TV monitor.  Nope, still no answer.  He must have fallen asleep.  I looked at the clock on my cell phone, it was now 8:00, we’d been there waiting now for 30 minutes, and the harder I tried to start the car, the less chances I had of the battery “coming back to life”.

Without any further thought I grabbed my daughters hand, “Just trust me on this” I said.  I put her hand in mine, weaving our fingers together.  Nice and loud I asked with conviction, “Archangel Michael, I want you to know that I am so thankful for all that you have done for me and my family, I am grateful and appreciative for all of the loving and helpful things that you have ever done for us!  Faith and I are asking you at this time for your wonderful, loving and awesome abilities, to please help us at this time.  Our car is not starting, the battery is dead.  I ask you at this time for your help, I have heard that you are the angel to call upon in times of need, especially when it comes to situations like this, when folks need help and when things need fixing.  Can you please find it in your loving angelic heart to help us by starting my car!”  I could barely believe the words that were now flowing from my heart.

I looked at Faith, she smiled and said “Go ahead Mom, try it.”  I put the key in the ignition again and turned the key to the right.  Without a “tic” and without any hesitation  my car started.  “YEAH!!!!!” we both shouted.  “Thank you so much Archangel Michael!!!!” I said so loudly and with so much love and appreciation in my heart. 

Earlier in the day, I was contemplating making a few changes in my life.  I have been hesitant in moving forward with them because of fear.  Fear of what others may think, fear of what would happen.  I had asked my angels, my guides and Creator to please give me a sign so that I would know what path to take.  I think I got my answer!  One thing that I learned from my experience with Archangel Michael is that fear is something that has the ability to bring you down in your life. If you replace that fear with love and trust in that love…Only miracles will follow!

Kissing Angels by Moonlight

I’ve decided that it’s easier to communicate with spirit and the angels than it is with my husband and my children. Angels and Spirit will always communicate with us in a manner that is gentle and kind, and most importantly they will always tell us the truth.

Then there is our family. Those wonderful people that we spend our lives with… The folks who know us, the peeps that we spend all of our waking moments with and even our sleeping moments for some. Then why is it so difficult at times to have meaningful and worthwhile conversations with them? I feel like I’m pulling teeth when I’m trying to get my husband to have a normal conversation with me…

You know the conversation, “Hey Honey, I’m home, how was your day? How are you doing? I love you…” You would think I was the enemy, the enemy that we are not allowed to tell our trade secrets too…I didn’t realize that going to the pub after work was such a guarded event. I have recently been privy to knowing the foreign language that is used to confuse us (the enemy known as the wives). The events were known as the “Safety Meetings”.  Having cracked the code I feel it is my responsibility to share with other wife’s, “Safety Meetings” and “Need to help ‘So&So’ with his car” (the word car in this sentence may also be replaced with lawnmower, truck, boat, trailer, hunting gear, just to name a few of the more frequently used words).  This is the code word or line given to us for “Beers at the local sports bar.”  Who’d have guessed?

My only goal at this time is to just understand why they feel the need to protect from us this thing known as “guy time” or as some man circles describe it as “out with the boys.”

The funny thing is, I can only speak for myself, but I love my me time, sharing coffee with the girls or the quiet peaceful relaxed feeling that encompasses the home when the guys have gone hunting for the weekend. No alarm clocks to remind us that it’s time to go “do guy stuff”, no stinky socks to permiate the house, the childrens laughter as they play tag and other noisy chasing games through the house not being interrupted by the male yelp of “SSSssshhhh….I’m trying to hear the game”. That one confuses me the most because as soon as the remote is in hand and the channel on the tv switches to ESPN sounds of snoring can be heard at decimals louder then a jet plane flying over the house …. You get the idea.

I can’t forget there are the children who feel the need to blurt out “I didn’t do it!” or “Brother did it!” when they hear their named being called out.

So with that being said I am looking forward to my “meditation time” where I can sit in a room and contemplate my journey, my life’s path. Asking my guides and angels for answers to life’s questions. I’m still waiting to hear the answer though as to why the husband doesn’t like to talk about anything other than sports….

Namaste

I began to get pulled in. I start to feel sypathy (good for me no empathy this time) I stopped, I began to hear the voice in my head stop, and there was stillness. I was calm, as if someone had turned the “You should definitely be angry button” on off. Amazing. I totally got it in that moment. I didn’t get drawn in to my daughter’s drama, and the I truly became aware.

Every page that I read in the book The New Earth, every web/podcast I saw of Echkarte Tolle and Oprah Winfrey discussing the book, every experience I have had in the past few weeks that I have applied the stillness method too…all the growth I have felt, the calmness and peace I felt in my life, the restlessness that disappeared….DAMNIT!

So I get that once you start you can’t turn back, say Echarte Tolle. But do I now start over? I’M PISSED, I’M ANGRY, HURT, DISAPOINTED, AFRAID, FEARFUL….ok, yeah, so I’m aware of it, but right now in this moment, when I should be sleeping, at 12:52 am, I want to back hand, bitch slap my daughter.

Did she think I wouldn’t notice? I realized her words were slurring, and she couldn’t look me directly in the eye. This has happened before, and after the law has been laid down, after everything I have ever said to her,,,,, about driving drunk…..DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT. How could she. I don’t know what to do right now. I told her that if she ever did it again I would never speak to her again. Ok, that may be a bit much, but she knew what I meant. I told her straight up tonight that I couldn’t believe she drove drunk. Her response to me,,,”I only had three beers”. ARE YOU FRICKEN KIDDING ME????????? Only 3 beers. One beer and I’m typsy turvy and can’t imagine taking the chance of getting behind the wheel of a car. So who do I blame, her birth father who was an addict (to everything, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever), and pet myself on the top of the head and be a hipocrate and say well, it’s not really her fault, it’s genetic. What a joke. Or do I say she’s an alcoholic and needs to hit rock bottom before whe learns anything? Or do I play the tough love card and say to her what I really want to. Which is to stand my ground and follow through with what I said to her before,,,figure your shit out, get out of the house, sober up before you come back. I can’t stand it when your kids put you in these situations.

So for starters, I am telling her that she needs to go to an AA meeting, because she’s clearly lost perpective again of her drinking problem. And the worst and most important thing to be said, to be learned, and to be engraved in her eyelids,,,if you drink you dont’ drive because you will, it’s only an issue of when, kill or tragically wound someone else, Or yourself. Is it helping that her step dad goes out to softball the night before, puts down a few brewskies and then drives home….Great message to sent to your kids,,,I hate being the martyr but I don’t drink, maybe one drink at Christmas dinner and one on my birthday…
I hope that there aren’t to many other mothers out there that are having to go through this too. God bless!
Micha’ele

I will try to stay in the stillness in the “I am”, and look at her as part of me, part of the “I am”. I will not judge her, I love her unconditionally, and I know this is her lesson. It just hurts when it’s your own child to stand there and “Let it go, and let God”.

The last few days have been so awesome! I closed my salon and day spa the end of March. I feel as though a 100 pound weight has been literally lifted off of my shoulders.

So I want to set the record straight…there have been many “reasons” that folks have come up with as to why we chose to close our salon. And actually there are several, I feel that it is necessary to share them.

First and foremost, we have been dealing with a mean and nasty landlord and his wife. With threats of eviction, rent hikes and bitter phone calls and letters, it has come time for us to say goodbye, and say enough is enough.

I do believe that everything happens for reasons as well, I have been wanting (subconsciously I think) to vier away from the salon industry and focus on healing, and not just doing Reiki for others, but to heal myself. I have been fighting an “invisible” disorder called Fibromyalgia. And with the stress of the salon, it has gotten terribly worse over the past few months. I’ve realized that it’s time to settle down and start taking of what is truly important, making myself well and helping those that need help as well.

Lastly, regarding the salon, it’s safe to say that the beauty industry has it’s demons. It takes a special type of person to truly be a good stylist and not fall victim to the “me, yes it’s all about me” syndrome. It’s incredibly painful to watch. There are only a few people that I have had the opportunity of working with who are truly in it for the shear desire to express themselves through creating beauty and enjoy the relationships that can develop with a client/stylist relationship.

Lastly, I have found that I struggled with just being me…in that environment. I felt as though I needed to be “on” 100% of the time. There is a spiritual side and truly deep caring side to my personality that unfortunately in that business it is not safe to share that. The beauty industry is about ego,,,and frankly,,,I’m in a place in my life right now where it is so important for me to work on the inner-workings of our souls, communication with spirit and helping others heal that I find comfort and true blessings in, it is with bountiful blessings that I find myself being drawn down this path, it is a journey and I am looking forward to sharing it with those of54664.jpgyou are interested in sharing it with me.

I would like to wish you all a day and a life filled with laughter, light and love!

Namaste!

Micha’ele
Friday April 4, 2008 – 10:11pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Comments: 0